Most people can tell you what happened to them.

Fewer people can tell you how what happened to them shaped them.

That’s where Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) come in.

ACEs are difficult or traumatic experiences that occur during childhood. They can include things like abuse, neglect, substance abuse in the home, domestic violence, parental separation, incarceration, and chronic instability.

When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of major events.

But formation doesn’t only happen through what happened to us.

Formation also happens through what didn’t happen.

The affection that wasn’t given.

The safety that wasn’t present.

The encouragement that never came.

The consistency that was missing.

Children are constantly learning about themselves, others, and the world around them.

Without realizing it, they begin forming beliefs:

• People leave.
• I have to earn love.
• My needs are a burden.
• Conflict isn’t safe.
• Nobody is coming to help me.
• If I perform well enough, I’ll be accepted.

These beliefs don’t stay in childhood.

They become behaviors.

The child who learned that love must be earned may become the adult who struggles to say no.

The child who lived in chaos may become the adult who feels uncomfortable in peace.

The child who wasn’t heard may become the adult who avoids speaking up.

Over time, beliefs produce behaviors.

Behaviors produce outcomes.

And many people spend years trying to change their outcomes without ever examining the beliefs underneath them.

This is why understanding our formation matters.

Not because we’re looking for someone to blame.

Not because we’re trying to stay stuck in the past.

But because awareness creates the opportunity for change.

What shaped us may explain us.

It does not have to define us.

The good news is that formation didn’t stop in childhood.

Just as we were shaped then, we can continue to be shaped now.

Transformation remains possible.

Reflection Question:

What belief about yourself, other people, or the world might have been formed by your childhood experiences?

Continue Your Journey

The Power of One Assessment is designed to help you examine the beliefs, emotions, relationships, habits, and outcomes shaping your life.

Take the assessment, reflect on your results, and identify areas where growth may be needed.

Start Here:

• Complete the Power of One Assessment
• Download the Thought to Behavior Workbook
• Work through the reflection exercises
• Complete the Post-Assessment
• Request a complimentary review if desired

Transformation begins with awareness.

One Thought. One Choice. One Response. One Day at a Time.

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Explore More Resources

Visit the Discipleship Hub for spiritual support. Additional resources on the reflections, articles, parent letters, FQA’s designed to support spiritual formation and personal growth.